Understanding

I have been posting under this name for four years.  Some of the essays I have posted are twice as old.   Things change over time and change in ones body, the aches, wrinkles,  are only to represent the changes that were to have happened in the mind and those changes have gradually come.  Though I would never go back and edit or rehash what I had written prior for it is not so much as a change of mind but a change in the perspective from which I am seeing things.   For all intents and purposes there can be more than one truth as long as the parties involved are ignorant of the others angle.

See, with time you may not only understand topic or target more than you did at a prior time you may understand the target more than it knew itself.  Like how we may understand a technology more now than the person who invented it then.  Yet, one shouldn’t dismiss the opinions of the past no matter how true or false they may be for it would be to erase the blueprint to your rational.

Now things and people we embrace, deal with well, get along with are also the things we went out of our way to understand whether you notice it or not. Now this all seems like common sense that we all instinctively know but it’s not.   All those sayings, “give it a chance”, “give it some time” “give it/him/her a try, give it time”, “see what they got to say.”  The key words are “give” and “see.”   Good information is rarely free and it is truly one of the most efficient conduits of power.   You have to give something to get something right?  You drop your fears, your personal view, your history and commit to merely thinking about another angle, you will “see” things you have never noticed before and sometimes see things differently altogether.  But that requires your time.  Maybe be a few minutes. Maybe a few seconds.  Maybe you will have to further expose yourself to people and things to find out more.

I know again, “common sense” and again I will tell you you’re wrong.  90% of the worlds conflict is due to a lack of communication. The other 10% is someone just being a #&!@*.
That’s my feeling.  Yeah sure greed, and various other sins and bad manners but if everyone were willing and free to communicate, most of that crap would be isolated quickly and a lot less people would be involved.

Now how does this effect you? People speak of the things they want.  Wealth, love, security. I would like to argue that all, whether they  if they admit it or not firstly, inherently,  one just want to be understood.  And from where they find understanding is to which they become emotionally attached.  Those that behave otherwise are the ones used to not getting any understanding and see no reason to bother seeking what they believe they will not get.   I am sure they are the exceptions but I think even a sociopath would take more kindly to one who can pick up what they are putting down.

So this is where I go from macro to micro on your ass.  If you don’t want to be rubbed the wrong way by something.  If you don’t like that icky feeling.  Remove yourself from your existence and go mentally to that person or to the people who enjoy what you dislike.   Yeah you may like it, you may become indifferent which is a little comfort or at least you may then learn why you dislike something and may even get into the heads of your enemies.  Mwa ha ha ha.

Now, when it comes to relationships.  You really got to get over yourself and into the other persons head.  Now I am not saying psychoanalyze and trivialize the person and their feelings.  I mean look at it from their eyes.  Maybe psychoanalyze yourself from their view.  If you aren’t willing to take the time, and seriously, once you get into the habit your talking a matter of minutes, but if you can’t take the time to do so and often then you cannot blame anyone if things go wrong.  One could question your level of caring and your initial intentions.

Ignorant bias is just bad for the soul.  If one doesn’t have the time, exposure or patients  to try to understand one still has their imagination and the usage of such is something truly lacking in the world.   There are people, perhaps the majority that either lack or refuse to use their imagination to attempt to understand what it would be like being born a different race, sex, religion, nationality or background.  Even most of the nit picks people have with others root from an impatient mindset and lack of imagination.   When people ask me why I do something or think some way I am always tempted to reply, “Why do you think I (whatever)?” But then I would end up sounding rude.  So instead I then proceed to punish them with a long and detailed explanation about whatever trivial topic that concerned them.

So the gist is..ya know all the hype about tolerance about all this or all that and political divides and trouble with your friend or significant other and various media outlets that just bombard you with endless conflict?  To help form an opinion, to get along with people, to lower your stress level I suggest shutting up, getting over yourself, to quietly think and see where that takes you.