Make Me A Sandwich! Taking the Gender Out of Gender Roles.
Just kidding! You never demand a sandwich. You may only ask for one with a “pretty please with a cherry on top.”
That title sure is a nice chunk of bait for all those independent women with their first world problems and compulsion to find ways to be offended yet sorry to disappoint you. I am gonna require you to read on first before being offended.
When I hear “role” I still think sandwiches and therefore the word “gender” has no business being next to it. Now let me tell you. I love sandwiches. Love em. All kinds. Any type of bread, vegetable, meat or cheese. I love me a sandwich. Now considering how much I love sandwiches I feel it is my duty to end a slightly amusing but highly damaging trend that’s using my most favorite culinary delight as a weapon between the sexes.
I am sure most of you have seen a sandwich meme, if you haven’t well then just type it in that little Google box ya got and take a look. I’ll wait.
So now you are either offended or laughing but you all are overlooking the real victim here. Yes, sandwiches! and the family structure…and love itself! Now sandwiches are looked at with disdain by many and one may not even be able to say out loud “Man, I would like a sandwich” without receiving a venomous stink eye.
So let’s get a few things straight. Every good home has a sandwich maker and that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a female. I for one can make a mean sandwich and it will most likely be my roll (har har) in a domestic setting and that’s fine with me because not only do I like sandwiches, I like to cook and part of that comes from the satisfaction one gets from fulfilling a friend or loved ones basic need adeptly. It’s a sensation that has been keeping the species strong since the beginning.
You can dismiss it as a trained habit, gender role or what ever you want to explain why mothers will offer sandwiches but are we to look down on them? Of course not! You will not find a more content and satisfied male when he receives a sandwich from his wife or mother. You can’t copy that. I could not make such a sandwich. The restaurant can’t make such a sandwich. The deli, the guy on the corner or the uppity dude on the cooking channel cannot make that sandwich. Because it is made with a certain type of love. It’s a love that brought us from the oceans, out of the caves, through the fields and into the large cities of the present and it is best represented in the simple form of the sandwich.
The sandwich, which comes in many forms is the primary culinary symbol of interpersonal connectedness. You can not be safer with someone than when eating a sandwich in their home. People may cook dinner for others, have fancy appetizers even. But it symbolizes nothing. A sandwich symbolizes family.
So don’t dare shout to your household sandwich maker to “make you a sandwich.”(Although it is kinda funny if you never want one again) It’s rude, ungrateful and if any of these major religions had a sent of a clue, sacrilegious.
Nor should one develop a standard for not making sandwiches, especially the random sandwiches (which are the most magical of all sandwiches) for to do so makes you unfit to be a mother or wife. That’s right I said it. You just don’t have the instinct of either nor the capability to take on the linchpin role in the family whom also usually is the main sandwich maker. You shouldn’t own even own pets for cats and dogs are both also know to love sandwiches.
Self involved people don’t do well in those roles yet if you presently are such a person and/or have a aversion towards making sandwiches, worry not. For something happens to a couple when they have a child. It starts with peanut butter and jelly. Then ham and cheese then a decade later everyone is sitting in front of the TV as a family unit, watching the game with giant beacons of love sitting in front of them. With lettuce, tomato (But not Jr. cause he doesn’t care for tomato), multiple meats, and cheese with potato chips and a pickle on the side. Yes folks, that’s some of the best stuff this simple life of ours has to offer, better recognize.
So screw gender roles and the stupid conflicts that arise from what are really piss poor masked attempts at self-actualization. There are only two important roles we are taking about. The person who makes the sandwich and those who say “yes please” “Thank you very much”, “It’s perfect”, “You’re the greatest” and “I love you.”
The Perpetual Bachelor 
Thanks!