Gentlemen (Part Two)

Ah, you have returned.  That speaks well of you.  Now for a few specifics and only a few.  We are all individuals are we not?  One can’t get too detailed.  Yet tiger’s strips or bulls horns we all can discuss.

On Conflict

One must learn to swallow their pride.  Feigning, from what in the long term end up to be meaningless battles buys peace of mind in the future.   Objectivity and relativity help you identify the true battles to be fought. Take solace in knowing how you could have buried the enemy, or lead yourself to defeat.   Take from that the ware with all to prevent such occasions from happening again, from even developing such enemies and the experience to use to indeed bury the bastard if your hand is forced.

Many a time, the other party will not be aware.  Sometimes when there is no concrete gain or satisfactory change to be had in confrontation it is better to stay still and take note.  In doing this you give yourself an advantage.  Information is after all the deadliest weapon and only you know the dynamic of the relationship has changed.  You are watching and they are acting as does such the cat and the mouse.

Adversity brings forth the flower of diversity.   Diversity is the Renaissance man, the jack of all trades.  Objectivity, and open mind will help you smooth out the edges of what is to be a well rounded individual.

On Women

Yes, the first and last offer belongs to the lady.  If some find that condescending to the female gender, pay them no ill will, but don’t you pay them any mind.   See, the fairer sex both basks and boils in their social gender roles depending if those roles are suiting their favor at the specific moment.    Then why would they find sexism in something traditionally thought to be nice?  They do so because the action at that moment suits them better as a cause to reaffirm their ideals or social contempt.    Gentlemen cannot take such liberty with the roles put upon us and must accept that.

The lady comes first, but not always.  In all things one must use logic and trust in it.  One may not come to all decisions base solely on logic but each decision should end up for the most part logically sound.

So with women, your choices can not get into a pattern where they favor the lass disproportionately.   On a scale from one to ten, you being 10 and her being 1, your decisions should primarily hover around a four.  This, the benefit for dealing with a gentleman such as yourself.  Now this is to be an abstract to keep in mind.  One should not be making a ledger or taking notes, going tit for tat.   Yet to needlessly and undeservingly spoil a woman is to not only lose respect but allow you to be taken advantage of.

In the bedroom get it done.   Listen and feel carefully.  Be responsive.  The whole game in nature is that the woman is in control and is deciding to whom to give control to.  She is the owner of the car; she knows the best way to drive it.  So pay attention to the blinkers, the oil and the check engine light.  Make sure she’s started and warmed up.    Their satisfaction comes first before you even think of dealing with yourself.  Why? Is this to kiss ass.  Hardly.  Make them happy, they will seek to make you happy.  More importantly when the task is done you can enjoy yourself at your leisure.   Just don’t let them get greedy.

It’s true, gentlemen never tell.  It’s ok to smile when questioned but to gossip ones escapades?  Must be quite the tale to tell, otherwise one is just doing themselves and the lady a disservice.   Women will do the talking for you.  If one is caught telling tales the female population will not take kindly.  The noble performance all for naught for now he will be slandered.   No, keep your mouth shut and if you are doing well the other women can tell if haven’t haven’t yet been told directly.

Some gentlemen get around more than others.   But keep in mind; deception and an abundance of inhibition inhibiting drugs are not the methods of a true gentleman.   You can ask yourself, do these women bare you ill will?  Has their opinion of you suffered?   Do they regret your acquaintance.  If the answer is no across the board then you my friend are one chivalrous chap.

It takes tact and maturity to leave them wanting a little more, or at the very least humored that you remain in their good graces.  It takes healthy choices in partners as well.

On the Man

A result of the four basic pillars, one cannot help but to grasp moderation as a keystone to ones personality.   No matter one faith or lack thereof those seven deadly sins (greed, wrath, jealousy, gluttony, vanity, lust, and pride) shall be tempered.    A mid 18^th century poem from the poet gentleman Samuel J Schwartz of London express’s this concept plainly enough.

Living on Sunday

Where there is humility

There lies no pride

Which allows one to appreciate

Than find reason to envy

Where there is generosity

There thrives no greed

So one can find balance in essence

And know not of gluttony

Where we lust humanity

Pointless is wrath

While sloth is a born right to living,

a Sunday priority.

The gentleman is a symbol of civility and masculinity.   A reflection of the accomplishments of human society and the positive things that are to come at whatever level he may be.   He is neither too self defacing nor prideful.   He aware of style and taste yet relishes living within his means.  He does not judge nor turns a blind eye.  He is unwittingly the preacher and subject of the good word.   He is a gentleman.