Dogs

Ok, here we go.   Its time to come to take a look at male machismo and its similarity to the make up women cake onto their face.    Just layers of small lies they tell others and themselves.   Let’s break down the difference between behaving like an animal and behaving as that greater than nature image of man that we have for ourselves.  Call it the battle between the ego and id or comparison between men and boys, whatever you’d like.

We have to have state some basic facts that have to be accepted first.   (Yes I am aware there are loads of jokes to be made after each one but I will leave that to you.)

• We are not racing to spread out genetic make up.  No one is looking to run around getting people pregnant.
• There are no merit badges or cash prizes to collect after getting your balls off.
• There are a vast array of nasty bugs laying in wait in many a vagina.
• chivalry went out in the middle ages.
• Women are just as big of pigs as we are and it takes two to tango
• Many say you have one life to live we should have fun especially if its not hurting anyone.

First let’s go after mental or muscle flexing.  For the Dogs.  The man realizes that there are million of others with half a brain and or muscles and perhaps it would be cleaver to stand out in another way that doesn’t make you look like a total douche bag.  The Dog can often be a braggart, a one upper, a cock block.

The time consumption. The chase is for the Dog.  The dance is for the man.  The man plays the game and shows patients with a suitable partner and will not blow their night chasing chuck steak.

The Dog chases around with his tongue and his little red rocket out willing to eat nearly anything.   There are plenty out there for the dog.  We call them….    In turn the man dances with the lady.  By no means does that mean they won’t end up tripping the lights fantastic all the way into the bed room, what it means is that they will most likely do it better, less drunk and probably in the morning as well.  That’s some quality dancing.

This doesn’t happen so often for the men but it’s worth it.  If your confident and centered you wont mind all that much. The dogs on the other hand spend most of their night chasing and if they fail their night had just zipped past in blur of failure.

Guilt.  For men raised in god fearing households it is a good piece of mind to know that they have at least a little bit of actual interest in the person, beside the va jay jay.   If the women, or bitches goes to them, well they went to them and it would be wrong to turn down a lady and leave them wanting and feeling insecure no?

Dogs, the animals they are have no sense of guilt and are unable to question the decisions made by their primal urges.  One would think they were truly a bunch a talking animals,  like a Muppet,  like an Muppet named Animal.  “Wooooomannn nya nya nya!”

Yet,  there may be some very human neurosis going on there.   Mommy issues?  Internal inadequacies looking for a way to balance themselves? Afraid no one would stick around so just bang and go?   Afraid they can’t get it unless the target isn’t  drunk or their game only starts working when there is three of them?

Men believe that if your gonna do something you do it right.  Dogs just want to get it done.   In a pack they run around panting “gottagetlaid gottagetlaid” with a desperation that repels all who aren’t shit faced.

One could make it a case of quality over quantity, but that isn’t always the case.   The case is that dogs, this such breed and often diseased, leave puppies in their wake randomly and waste lots of their time and money in the pursuit.

That’s if they are successful, many a man can beat a dog at the dogs game, but it would include a decent amount of looks and or money.

The reward for the pooch is that they have their blurry memories which are far better in their imagination than they were in reality and the can bark these near lies to others.

One hitch.  Dog’s if you ever owned one often seem full of shit and these mutts are no different.  No one wants to admit they wasted all night to A. last 30 seconds because they were running around horny all night.  B. Do the male version of the walk of shame after she sends you home way too early.  C. Got whiskey dick and could not get it up.

A story with out witnesses is just that.

I think most people are not to forth coming with the stories to the clinic that didn’t end to well.

I think people are even less forth coming with stories about the abortion the had or had paid for.

I think only half the amount of men that partake in cunnilingus  actually do.

I think out of those only have are good at it.

I think that bringing home a blasted bitch a 5 in the morning can’t in any way  end up being well done or good for your Karma.

I believe the pack talking  big game is a pack leading you astray, especially when a lone wolf can hunt more successfully.

So am I calling most guys total liars when they speak of their escapade? Fuck yes.  A satisfied Doggie no longer barks.  A gentleman never tells.  So when you hear you Dog going on about the endless bitches he keep getting he really just got issues and has been eating his own shit.