Playing for Keeps

Sup, playas.  All you spinster sisters and gentlemen considering ending the line of their loins.   Where is that point where ones clock winds down and their bunghole tightens  to a point where it changes their swing all together?

Some will only swing if the pitch is perfect even if the waiting takes them out of the game completely.  Others swing wildly as if perplexed by one of Bugs Bunny’s special “slow” pitches.

Desperation, apathy, delusional indifference?  I believe the issue only becomes a problem when people lose focus on not focusing on it.   When they have to try to try harder or try to try less.   When they succeed at quitting or quit at succeeding. When they….ok I’ll stop.

At the very best, there may be a pseudo contentment.  A willingness to go with the flow with out playing with the faucet too much.   Ever there is a danger.  One gets used to the lack of drama.  The ability to go out 2-3 three times a week with your friends, to flirt, to learn new hobbies to watch what ever the hell you want when ever you want and do what ever you want with the door open.

There comes a time where that becomes a lot to give up. Especially when the memories of the trade off glow dimmer with time.

I suppose that group takes faith in that they will know it when they know it and that’s the small reward for their hard earned experience.

To an extent, some singles may sensationalize their solo status.  There is plenty of it in the pop culture as well, but there isn’t all that much jealousy going on.   Yes, people would like a family, yada, yada, but does one think that if one is single and doing it right, they they are green with envy when they see some guy dealing with his sig nif and or rotten kids.

There ain’t nothing wrong with pushing the clock as long as you’re doing it right.  Suppose that’s what most things come down to.  Doesn’t matter what you do……

The ones that are single but living life as if you were married  or vise versa are the ones no one is envying.

Baggage.  Always can be an issue unless it is looked at in the right way.  In stead of it being a weight on ones over dramatic soul forever they should be looked at like that scar you got on your knee when your jeans got caught in the bike chain as a kid.   The slight chip on you tooth that reminds you that you have to be careful when having a chugging contest with glass bottles.

If you have to identify with a Sex in the City Character or say single and fabulous to feel good, your doing it wrong.  If you bury yourself into sports and/ or dress out of a Sears catalog you have surrendered.

That’s not growing up, that a child looking older.  But that’s not all of us, right? we’re big kids now.  Beyond the games, the bullshit, the inadequacies…..

The inadequacies……

Men: Women much more tolerant of beer guts, especially if there is stability.  See, I used the right word….men usually call it “money” women; “stability”.

Nothing wrong with that, this ain’t no investment now, no fix-er-uper, no car kit to be built.    Women are shopping for new and complete, but more often from the used lots as well as time goes on.

A man with money is ahead in every game.  If you got it, more power to you. Now learn how to work it to where you don’t become Mr. Stability or “Mr. Sugar Daddy” unless you want to be that guy and in that case never ever believe a woman when they say they are on birth control.

Women don’t appreciate the play boy attitude of wealthy men but it’s one of the few things that trumps pussy power.  The pussy loves money.  Now before one condemns me for that statement,  just think about it for a while.   It’s like when they say pretty girls can get away with murder.  Yep, realities a bitch deal with it.

But what about the rest of the slobs?  Career path and thoughts on procreation.  Things you better have at least some type of BS response too.

Face it, everyone has a “personality” and if you can’t provide for a woman what use are you?   Sex is fine but in time they may be just more interested in the outcome.

You have to be some what of a renaissance man, and want to be that guy.  Also, better have a damn good reason for being broke.

A woman, may be a guys “baby” , baby maker  or baby sitter.  Cook? ha ha you better be making some money son.

A man is a woman’s Swiss army knife.     The big blade, big enough to protect her, at least long enough for her to get away.    The can opener, opening new  opportunities in life.  In other words there is a chance she will be spending a lot of time  mostly with you and your rotten offspring for human contact.  You have to be interesting.   The scissors;  you should be able to fix shit or at least cut it into a shape she can deal with.

What I am trying to say is that, skills. Not just skills to pay the bills (“money money!”) Just have some fucking skills.   Cooking, cleaning,  carpentry, cunnilingus. Any such simple set from other letters of the alphabet even a mixture of letters is fine and they don’t require money.  They are like a boss.  You have to be useful.   The more useful you are the more “raises” your likely to get.

Funny enough, many women will chuckle and say they would be happy with someone who had a pulse, a penis and hadn’t spent time in a penitentiary.

All the more the reason to make yourself a bit more worldly.  You manage that and stay at the right height to beer gut ratio, you should be ready to go.

As for women.  Get a hold of those expectation.  Some need the set a little higher and some a bit lower.  Stop competing with the 22 year old idiots, you’re going to lose.   You are no longer the Vette.  You’re a classy sedan.   Stop acting like you deserve a BMW and behave with the type class people who own them are supposed to have. (Not that I have ever met a BMW owner with any class but you know, in the commercials.)

Take it from your gal pal from the my favorite show to reference, SITC.  It took her 8 years to bag the dude and it was such a mystery why.  Why? he  was nailing smoking hot models when whats her name was behaving like a pretentious little girl while thinking that expensive dresses were puttering her some where on Ms. Universes level.

Two girls, same dress.  One looks younger.  At a blink of a guess one is gonna have less questions, less baggage, less cellulite, and probably less expensive.  People make decisions like that all the time in a moment and all I have to say is to have a chance you better change your strategy or be on the same side of the bar as the other chick is on.

The ability to look hot is great. You could snag on to young dudes but you’re not gonna catch the Lion with the mane with the same game.   You can’t chase or trap so I suppose that leaves charm.

Then, what the hell are you doing at a bar if you are playing for keeps?   Sadly, that because we all do that.  It’s hard, you have to get out there, get involved in shit, get introduced to strangers, do thing you normally wouldn’t do.  Suppose it’s all a matter of how bad you want it.  If you’re still just fooling around or playing for keeps.