Break Up Already!!

Join me again as I dive into the depths of stupidity that we find in the hearts of oh-so many.  I’m not here for another general attack on any specific gender.  I feel it is a good time to be a little bit more specific.

I would first like to state three facts.  1. Anyone can be manipulated.  2. Men never change.   They may pretend they change, but in reality men only get balder, wider, and grumpier, period.  3. Modern women share many characteristics and motives with the sperm carriers and this is often over looked.

How many gals do you know who are in a relationship, and every time you look at that person you ask yourself “why?”    How many times have you heard these girls say something like “well, we’ve been together for so long.” (Feel free to imitate in a high-pitched voice of your choice)  Now, these morons are overlooking a few things, so let’s delve into it a little shall we?

The man, who “doesn’t really like to dress up”,  “really into his work”,  “is so busy he’s forgetful” is  A. Full of shit.  &  B. Will always be that way.

Now sure, he can skip out on social events that involve your family, friends, or career now.  Cause, well, he really is getting good at that Texas Hold’em thing.   But do these gals understand that when they are a bit older that that jackass on the couch is going to be the majority of their adult human contact and that your friends will be too busy with their own lazy ass and his rotten offspring.

But they stay with these guys because “it’s already been so long.”  Daft bitch.  So they can’t break it off now, so they will wait until they get an actual contract under law, under God, and then finally choose to get a reality check and break it along with the family base they owe their children.  Nice.  Or they hunker down and stick with their marital vows.  Hello prescription drugs.

And gentlemen,  Sure, perhaps your girl is a saint who loves your lazy ass, or stupid enough to be controlled by you but any man who has the chance to walk out in public with a attractive woman on his arm and brushes it off is a moron, that or a closet fag.  Even if it’s the same face you see every day.   If you’re sick of it, get rid of it.  Even if you don’t think you’ll ever get laid by anyone else.  At least you’ll save money on the alimony, and can use that cash for a rub and tug.

Seriously, if I wasn’t such a virtuous person, I’d sweep your woman off her feet and onto her back while you’re at home fiddling around with your pecker doing whatever mundane thing you do.  And it would be wonderful.

Not that that is an excuse for a ho to be a ho, but really that may happen if you keep treating your girl like you have an Oedipus complex.

If, You’re so confident that if you continue to let your girl go out lonely and unescorted and she’s not gonna cheat on you.  She already has and she enjoyed it.

If your man does not man up, and get your back, even when of course, you did something moronic, then he doesn’t really give a fuck.  That includes, rides to work, and fixing flat tires, and applying jumper cables. (Please for the love of God do not try to explain that over the phone)

It goes the same for the girl who doesn’t escort your drunken ass home and baby talks you as you unconsciously mumble for your mother while clawing at the bathroom floor and shitting yourself.

You want a happy homemaker and your woman is a slob and hates to cook.  An encounter with your signifs parents always ends up being a traumatic experience.  He has gone almost as far as to swear on the bible he wants nothing to do with children.

Sure, if you are in reality, in a relationship where things are so peachy that such issues are merely hurdles to jump over and laugh about as if in some television sitcom, fine.  Yet, if the other person is not the light in your eyes, that a the relationship seems “to take work” after a few years you’re gonna have to get real.  You can’t wait for the obvious deal breakers to come along, it is quite a waste of life and will make things harder not easier.  Waiting for a huge blowout, someone cheating or a nervous breakdown is silly.

This is for all the relationships that seem ok on the surface but they have a little rotten core, and after all they seem “ok”.  Screw ok.

A few more hints. If…she doesn’t suck “it”, and that’s important to you, well, then she better learn it and love it way before there’s a ring, because then negotiations are over.

If…he’s not so suave or romantic, he never will be.  A man grows up to be romantic or they do not.  Then as a young man, the romance in his soul, along with his heart is either ripped out of him, or not.   The not so exuberant proposal over leftover Chinese will be the most romantic moment for the rest of your life.  It’s done, over, order you Fabio covered female spank novels now.

It’s a long life people.  Don’t let them fool ya.   Looks fade, but she’ll always be a cunt.    He may not a rapist or an axe murderer and makes a good living, but he’s still less exciting than watching Jell-O solidify and always will be.