The Korean Microcosm

South Korea is an interestingly simplistic microcosm of the dating scene. Of course people are people and life and love is never simple but from a foreigners perspective there are just a few simple givens.

Before we get to that lets lay out the canvass. Korea is a patriarchal society, similar to the United States in the late 50’s early 60’s. The women dress fashionable but much more humble than the women of the west. The individual man or woman for the most part is a lot more humble and grounded here, at least on the surface. Basically steroids and G- String are nearly unheard of. If you do see the rare spicy billboard with a scantily clad woman she is most definitely a western women.

The culture does not allow that type of objectification of their women. As women in the U.S, sometime sickly by the age of ten find the goal to be found “sexy” the Korea as well as Japan focus on “cute.”

The people can be quite xenophobic at times and at times very kind.  The women do seem to be on the rise with every generation and most likely eventually will be as much as a pain in the ass as my own beloved Americans. As the country continues to grow and advance the more the roots of communication spread. Those roots are filled with marketing, the coal behind capitalisms smoky fire.

As a nation becomes more and more industrialized the people in that said country want what the other cool kids have. Ever see a club full of Asians who were somewhat convinced that they were gangster rappers? I have, and where I come from Asian typically do not care for those from African descent let alone embrace rap music. Plastic surgery is not only common but on the rise in a country where tattoos are extremely rare.

The effect of the worlds, how shall I say, “world median commercial marketing culture.” Ooo is this the birth of a term? Probably not. Sure there is a chapter on it by a much shorter name in some anthropology textbook somewhere and some college brat will roll their eyes at this. Well ya know what? The WMCMC, it’s musical, it’s mine and I am sticking to it.

Anyway, what I call the world median commercial marketing culture is the signs, songs, brands, and personalities you will see nearly everywhere. Pepsi, Coke, Mc Donald’s. Ray Bans, Channel, Manchester United, Jackson, Obama, Beatles, you get it. It is a big world, and only giants have the feet big enough to get around. Yet, there is the undercurrent, the wind that they bring with them that take a real effect on a culture.

It is common for each country to take from that collective unconscious of the WMCMC and create its own version. Koreans and French have their own rap culture. I have seen Balinese try to break dance. How many American women pay mucho moola on garb to strut around as if they were in Paris and on the cutting edge? Korea has their own pizza, fantastic if you love corn and their own beer, fantastic if you love hangovers. But, it’s not the clothes, food or the music that make the big splash in a society. It’s the attitudes and expectations that come along with them. Hence the increase in plastic surgery and one of the major forces that creates the Korean dating Microcosm.

For Natives to date the foreigner is looked down upon and in the wrong area one may get looks, but for the most part it is common. The immigrants in Korea make up around 2% of the population and are made up primarily of Chinese, South East Asians, and Eastern Europeans. Most are migrant workers and I must say never met one. Other than that you have the U.S military boys and the 20,000 or so foreign English teachers that come from a small list of countries that includes the U.S, England, Scotland, Ireland, South Africa, and Australia. That is a shallow and brief description of Korean culture but my aim is not to write an anthropological thesis.

Now, the microsocm:

The players:

Let’s start with the Korean women and those expectations that the wind brought. Not only is it perhaps an opportunity for a local gal to see America, Canada what have you, it alleviates the conflict between Korean traditional culture and the culture that the WMCMC brings. European and U.S men have been enlightened/ beaten down long enough that their behavior towards their mates are relatively liberal. In other words compared to the far majority of the world European and American woman get away with not murder but all out genocide.

Now an exotic stranger who cares little about keeping you in your traditional place and may even take entirely out of that place might seem just a tad appealing no? The girl can pick and choose what she wants and doesn’t want from her culture. Of course she might have to fight a small war with her family to go on with it, but the price of freedom eh?

Now the foreign men. Plainly, Many come from a land where they are used to pulling 2’s and 3’s and are now getting 9’s and 10’s elsewhere. Ones happy to have a little extra freedom, the other is just happy to have a good looking girl that has less expectations, judgments and need a lot less maintenance. You have heard me talk about the varied effect of the woman’s liberation on the modern chicas super ego over there, and that butterfly sneezing set off several little El’ Nino’s in Korea.

Besides getting a better looking girl than they could get at home, the foreign man gets a more traditional one. Some may like the sub missive type but I rekon it is because the Korean women genuinely want to take care of them. They still have many feminine gender role characteristics that men love and that many western women have lost.

Sure, sure, you take of your man, but like Asian women, probably not. It may be somewhat out of western culture now and to behave in such away would make you feel insecure and uneasy. See, western girls want to be Sex in the City Girls, Men don’t want Sex in the City Girls. It’s not the independence or strength they are afraid of. They just want to have someone who they know is capable of taking care of their children and them when they break down. That Many women would scoff at such a thing.  But that was strength.

The latchpin of the family, the one who must baby the babies when they are being babies.  Even the big baby. The matriarch, the greater woman behind every great man.   I would not be surprised if my mothers and grandmothers generations were actually stronger breeds than anything that has come since.

Where is that happy medium?  Is it easier to find a woman and show her new strength or find a “modern woman and pray she finds the strength she failed to develop.  It kinda gets me to thinking that as far as Americans are concerned, they marry foreigners for completely different reasons, but that’s another story.

Women shouldn’t, but they will blame a man who is attracted at all to those old gender roles just as men blame the modern women for being egocentric and overly demanding.

Foreign women get the short end of the stick.  A few date Korean guys, some for similar reasons as the foreign men. North American women don’t typically care too much for the local men.  It would be the opposite of the Korean women. They risk getting involved in a more repressive culture.  How many western are gonna put of with that?   Other North American aren’t too appealing either.  Why fly from Mexico to Italy to have Tacos?

Yet, if a South African or British bloke opens their mouth the poor girl’s knee go weak. For the Aussies, South Africans and English man the world is their oyster. They can just shuck, shuck, shuck along until they find a pearl. Now if you’re a North American who isn’t into Asians or doesn’t care for the submissive type you will be asked what you are doing there and your response probably should be “not for the women.” After all if you do not deal with the Koreans, your just a taco.

Of course this all generally speaking. I know when you speak in generalities you can only be a fool and I do so love to play the fool.