Damaged Goods

“Fear of commitment,” a title given to a males prudence in perusing a progressive step in a relationship.  Usually it is suggested that it roots from the individuals love for his personal independence and freedom. Yet it can also be attributed to formulated comparative risk.

The combination of their own life experiences and the experiences of all their male acquaintances and their acquaintances, a fully rational set of understandings take shape in their psyche.

Everyone bachelor knows at least a few divorcee’s.   The horror stories of infidelity, alimony and child custody.   A man hears these stories, and they far outnumber the men who seem generally happy.  There are some guys that seem alright, but they don’t exactly make one want to do the same.  Who wants to risk it to be just alright?

They don’t want to me emotionally damaged or demasculinated like poor Uncle Joe.  Neither do they want to end up having to deal with some lunatic for the rest of their lives like his buddy Mike who has more gray hair attributed to his wife than to the kids.  Let not get into divorce stories, who wants to rehash divorce again?  Let’s talk about crazy people.

It is often said that the female gender is “crazy.”   It is because   A. A misconception and failure to relate to females in general and/or to a person as an individual which leads to the cop out “she’s crazy”.

B.  They are truly damaged goods.    Men seem to either take advantage of them or try to save them.

Daddy Issues are huge source of female self hatred.      It is given the lack of a male role model can screw up a boy growing up in several ways, but I would argue that is damages a female even more.   This is not new to psychologists.   A female with an unstable environment growing up and/ or has suffered sexual abuse is in for a chaotic life.  They crave and try to find love from anyone.   They have trouble with a stable world and will seek to disrupt it.  Their mind flips back and forth from narcissism to self hatred.    They can become deceitful and seek to use others.   They will rationalize and victimize themselves.  Lies become their façade.    Some of the saddest stories I have ever been told reflect some such women.

They are not stupid and mean to be promiscuous and liars.  It’s the self hatred and confusion that makes them so.   They truly need years of therapy but few ever get it.   So they use and are used and continue the hunt for quick source of happiness, whether it is drugs, sex or a new grand escape from another situation gone amok.

There are poor men who get involved with such women, and the rest of us either watch it or hear about it.  The guy himself is often completely fooled.  In some cases he can’t figure out what a smart attractive girl might want with him.   Sometimes the guy never came across such a thing and therefore doesn’t expect it or that he thinks he can save her.

But they lie.  Next to coke heads such women are the best liars.   Even when you think you catch them in lies, they are only the ones they allow you to catch.   You have to feel for these men.  The girl will be genuine to a varying extent.  She will be sweet and she will be such a model citizen the poor bastard is unassuming or thinks he is doing the right thing and that it’s a sustainable relationship.

It’s only a matter of time before she breaks.   She will get eventually get   uncomfortable because she is in a stable atmosphere.  Because of her childhood she is not hard wired to accept such a thing.  She will then begin to sabotage her life.   Sometimes she may not as blatantly sabotage her life, but she may fuck up like any normal person but truly hate herself for it which makes her fuck up again and again and again.

There is a poor bastard caught up in this and has to watch.  They often convince themselves that there are things that can be done, that it is different when sadly they could never truly find happiness with that person, they are simply too damaged and only damage the poor bastards that actually care for them.

When I hear about these women I feel so badly.  I couldn’t do hookers and kinda loath strip clubs because they are filled with damaged goods.    I see a poor confuse little girl and it’s depressing as shit. One can only hope that such women have some true support structure that they can get serious help.

Unfortunately most men don’t even think of it, will use these women, or figure if they don’t the next guy will.

It may be hard to see the red flags, perhaps you just can’t help from giving it a try but gentlemen you have to take some self responsibility and you have to know when to take responsibility as a human being.