Cutting into the meat and potatos of being a man.

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So You Want to Drink?

It could be argued that alcohol consumption predates civilization.  At this point it’s not all that absurd to say that it’s just something as creatures we tend to do. Yeah yeah, “I don’t need to drink, not everyone drinks, yada yada,”  Yet if it’s something the majority of the species has taken part in for over five millennia its safe to say it’s common practice so get over yourself.

Now, to be successful at drinking is not a concept as widespread.  Most of us at one time or another, or quite often, still go about it like the first Neolithic man gorging on his new discovery to eventually end up walking into the walls of his cave.

I am sure that might be success to some but what I mean by success is to have a good time with out resulting in any unnecessary faux pas, overspending or physical harm.

Is that too general?  Is it time for a bullet list?!?!  Well O-K! Let’s go over some common events that might suggest that you were not a successful drinker “that” night.

  • At 10, talking to a cutie. By 12 your social skills tank and you blow it.
  • You end up sleeping with someone you rather had not.
  • You do so and forget to use a rubber.  #shotgun wedding
  • Vomiting isn’t usually that much fun.
  • Set yourself up to be robbed/raped and assorted fun things.
  • Took out your credit card leading to an end of the month surprise.
  • Fistfights, brawls and the following lawsuits, jail, probation.
  • Unwarranted fights/drama with your significant other.
  • Getting lost and paying way too much for a cab.
  • Girls gone wild moments.
  • DWI, car accidents and the like.
  • Vicious hangover that incapacitates you for the following day.

I am sure all of you have your own individual stories that you just can’t make up and looking back they might have been a hoot yet those types of event aren’t supposed to be commonplace. If they are, then they are no longer “hoots” but more like “yuks”, “mnehs” or “tsks”.

Even the most experienced and mature drinker will have his moments, because as social animals we get caught up in the moment.  We are imperfect and emotional and alcohol is a dangerous toy.

Sometimes you know you have reached your limit and you’re having a good time but everywhere you turn someone is throwing a Jagre bomb into your hands.  Sometimes the camaraderie, pride, sorrow or joy is just too much and you make the choice to say “ahh, fuck it,” and toss each one down.  It happens.

But those are rare times.  You can’t force those moments. They grow organically and when one tries to force the good times by drinking, that’s when people start calling them a drunk.

Yes, so on with it, how to drink.  First you need to know what you want. No you don’t want to get “waaassted! Wooo!”   Maybe if something tragic happens, but no, not on the typical night out on the town.   You want to be loose and have a good time period.

There gets to a point where alcohol can only get you so far to that goal.  If you reach that point and you’re still bored then you have to look at where you are and the company you keep.  You can’t continue to lean on Jack, Jim or Jose (could be people, could be booze) to entertain you, only then to blame them for the shitty time you had because you got too drunk.

This point that I speak of comes right before the sweet spot, the place you want to be. The place where you always find yourself saying, “Holy shit, I am having so much fucking fun right now.”  That my friends, is your sweet spot. I like to refer to it as ones “Happy Place”.  It also happened to be the moment were things usually go wrong. For often enough, right after one thinks, “Holy shit, I am having so much fucking fun right now.”  They follow up with, “I need another drink.”

See, beer can be your friend but like lots of friends they can be self centered, arrogant, greedy even.  It’s telling you that it is the soul reason for your good time, not your other friends, the environment or your winning personality.  So this is when you have to say to alcohol, “No alcohol, stop smothering me…just chill out…dude.”

Why then you ask? At the high point when you should be buying shots and taking selfies?  Because you already have that other drink in your tummy. It hasn’t hit yet.  When you hit your happy place you should be able to glide that happy little wave for an hour or two easy without another alcoholic beverage.  In fact one should immediately down a glass of water for we all know, or should know, that dehydration is the enemy!!

When you do proceed drinking alcohol go one for one with glasses of water. You will still be drunk enough to have a great time and as a bonus you will actually remember all of it!! It’s a whole new world!

This way you can remain charming and get that lucky persons number.  You can find your way home and avoid all those nasty things we mentioned above.

         What are you eating? Always eat before you start drinking.  This idea that you won’t eat to get drunk faster to save money is comical. It usually doesn’t work that way. You either spend twice as much gorging or whatever you can get your hands on (so much for the diet) or end out passing out by 9pm.

Eating just protein, high sodium foods, lots of sugar or spicy food are not recommended. All will increase the chances of your stomach turning.  Carb up and bring on the cheese.  Breads and pastas will absorb some booze like a time delay and the cheese or some greasy protein will also create a little barrier. But just remember, the food only delays absorption into the bloodstream. It will all eventually hit you, just a little more gradually.

          What are you drinking? That whole beer before liquor thing?…true.  I have heard some say it doesn’t make a difference, bullshit.  People tend to drink faster as they get drunk, and the decision making as we all know begins to falter.  It is just common sense that drinking the smaller, more powerful concoction after you are already drunk is going to launch you overboard.

But let’s get real. It takes us being at least a little drunk in the first place before we start doing shots so one must be prepared beyond following a near useless rhyme.

Mixed drinks.  Many establishments today don’t use fruit juices anymore. Fruit juices do have sugar but nothing like the mixers which are nearly all corn syrup.  So when you are ordering something perceived to be super fruity like a hurricane or rum runner, watch what they are putting in for it won’t take much of that crap to turn ones stomach.

Mixed stomach.  A little of this and a little of that will lead to a really big hangover.  Take it easy on mixing various types of booze especially when you are taking in extra sugar in your drinks that includes cola and other sodas.

Beware of wine! It’s great for a nice warm buzz but to get blasted off of wine is to be a glutton for punishment.  That’s why it makes you sleepy. It’s wines way of saying,”lay your silly head to rest before I DESTROY YOU.”  It will lead to a brutal next morning and as far as vomiting is concerned from what I know and hear it’s the most painful.

“Drinking (insert liquor) makes me (insert undesirable effect).” Then don’t drink that.  If it turns you into a bitch or you black out, don’t drink it.  For instance, I am one of large population of people who become a bit excitable when drinking tequila.  So perhaps at the beginning of a night where I am tired or in an anti-social mood I will start of with tequila to get me grooving.  And that’s it.  It opens the night and is never seen again.

Know thy self.  Know what type of alcohol does what to you. Be aware of your limitations and value them. Limitations save you money! Don’t be afraid to say no. In the long run you will always end up looking better than the idiot calling you a pussy.

To recap: PHECH or

People have every chance hopefully (to have a good time)

                Pace, Hydrate, Eat, Happy Space, Contents of stomach

Hangover tip: Pedialyte.  Keep a bottle in the fridge at all times.  Slug before bedtime and when you wake up.  They also have a powdered form that would be brilliant of you to have in your pocket when going out for a big night.  Can’t get Pedialyte?  Banana Shake. The reason Pedialyte can’t be made at home is mainly because of the potassium content which is what your party ravaged body is then looking for.  Personally I like to make a shake with sweet potato, banana, blueberries, coconut milk, aloe, and yogurt on the regular, but I have noticed it to be really replenishing on your system when hungover as well.

Feel free to act as if you don’t need such advice.  That this is all obvious information or pretend you already practice such responsibility on the regular and I just wasted your time.  Then next time you are making out with the toilet seat in basement bathroom of some dive, think of me.

Defending the “Manic Pixie Dream Girl”

Oh ladies, I find it so very interesting how many still feel that only one gender can be sexist.  That your minds run completely different from men and you are immune to having many of the base urges take precedence in the forming of ones opinions.

Now it has come to my attention that there is a “stock” character coined the “Manic Pixie Dream girl” and it is described as such, “that bubbly, shallow cinematic creature that exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures.”  MPDGs are said to help their men without pursuing their own happiness, and such characters never grow up, thus their men never grow up.”  (No irony in that.)

Rrrrroww! hissss!  Put away the claws.  For one, what isn’t a stock character today?  What movie character is not a reduction of something else?   We will cover some “stock characters that should not be ignored if we are going to go there but first a list of movies that star MPDGs according to wikipedia.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manic_Pixie_Dream_Girl

First thing I notice is that most of those actresses have been able to pull off being funny.  Second, most of those roles in my humble opinion are alike in one way, that they actually have personality. Third, some of movies are straight up classics and finally are many award winners on that list as well.  That’s just me.  So lets get back to taking note of other “stock characters” pertinent to this discussion.  To the bullet list!

  • The strong independent professional woman that must learn to love while being so strong and independent.  They usually end up with the next person on this list for one could only be deserving if he was equally or more independent, (cough..rich..cough cough) as her
  • The ruggedly handsome, sensitive, wealthy man, with a six pack, great hair and has eyes only for the heroine.
  • The Sparkly vampire, (which I cover here: https://newworldpunk.wordpress.com/2013/07/10/vampires-the-unmasking/)  that reeks of a woman’s ID, yes, you all want to be eaten alive by something strong and powerful, doesn’t matter if they are monsters as long as the hit that primordial lust button and are ripped.
  • The wise and snarky best friend.
  • The snarky and borderline rude gay friend.
  • The Plain Jane, who for some reason, the rich, powerful, handsome, yada, yada, male role can’t get out of his head.
  • The woe is me I am with out love hot mess.
  • The taller, prettier antagonist who is instinctively mean spirited and is written to intentionally to have 1/10 the personality of the heroine as so to make it look like she has a personality even if she actually doesn’t.

When the above are taken  into account, the Pixie girl is a dream indeed.  Might mean there is some interesting dialog or at least a grain of unpredictability.  So why are these Dream Girls the target of so much angst?

Women used to be able to assume and complain that guys generally like the skinny girl with big boobs.  Simple, we are shallow lesser beings right?  But now, there is another archetype, fully clothed and without cleavage that are getting men’s attention. And women hate it.

Yes, the reason women hate the MPDG is because they are jelliiiiii fish.  I can hear the boos from here, but bear with me.  Three questions first before you make the voo-doo doll.  Do you believe that the MPDG character is no more reduced than any other female character?  Are there not male counterparts in popular fiction?  And finally, does it merely piss you off because you are not quite so sure how to criticize men for liking them?

Sure, men can be simple minded, easy to please.  But women can be competitive and catty. Both are generalization indeed but don’t dare pretend one exists and the other does not. There are qualities in these MPDGs that when a woman compares herself to them and she feels bad about herself there is no one to blame.  Can’t call men shallow. Can’t blame society for a unfair perception of women.  After all these character are supposed to be out of the ordinary. There are a composite of qualities that they have that the viewer may not and they hate it. That’s the real reason the MPDG is scorned. What qualities you ask??  Time for another list!

  • Funny! Dismiss it as “quirky” or “manic”, but as men we see it as someone comfortable in their own skin that can give a good laugh where in reality it’s the man that it always expected to make the woman laugh. It shows it is possible to have clever banter which isn’t a man vs. woman pissing contest as it is with most other female characters.
  • Critics mention the clothing. It’s known that often enough women dress for other women, not for men. So of course seeing a character that breaks those rules and still gets the leading man is going to make some girls inherently uncomfortable. But that’s another reason we love her so. She doesn’t give a damn. Not pretentious or caught up in those superficial games which also means she is less likely to be judgmental. That a guy could have a chance despite his shoes. Men like to see curves but also love simplicity.  Ask what the average male thinks of women in jeans and a t shirt.  We love it.  More than most of the stuff many women parade in.
  • Friendly and forward.  So a girl making first contact, being friendly and non-judgmental is…… you tell me?  Meanwhile there are countless female characters that are total bitches until the male lead kisses enough ass but that’s fine. I am not sure if there is more self inflicted sexism or sexism toward men in this situation.
  • They listen and have smart things to say.  They come to the rescue for the male, impart wholehearted advice and when compared to other female movie archetypes, treat the male characters as friends not simply as male perusing mate or female luring in a mate.  There are critiques saying that these characters give men the idea that there are women out there that are going to save them.  To which I can only say, Oh fuck off. Seriously. Fuck off, welcome to the male gender role, how does it taste?  And thanks for assuming we are that suggestible. (That’s not insulting of our intelligence or a sexist idea at all.)
  • They are open to get involved in hijinks, or as stated “never grow up” or “manic”.  It’s not immaturity; it’s simply being fun and not having a stick up your ass.  These female roles actually do things the male roles have fun doing, they are partners in crime and it isn’t all about the girl. Most other romances the characters are usually doing crap the girl wants to do. Yes, perhaps it’s a wet dream of ours to actually do something spontaneous and fun where both people are going have an equal amount of fun or that it might be the girl who initiates it and has some creativity.
  • They aren’t weak, need a man, wooing or rescuing.  They may be sensitive or cry but they are open and knowledgeable of their issues and stronger for it.  They play the characters that don’t give a crap what other people say, especially other women.
  • Finally, one of the things that might be wrapped up in the “quirky” label is the tendency of such characters  to SIMPLY SAY EXACTLY WHAT THEY MEAN and are just out with it without caring if they look silly.  If there is one universal thing that drive men nuts and make women think men are numbskulls is verbal pretense and the beloved fairies might seem like unhinged motor mouths but you don’t need and Enigma Machine to fully understand what they are saying.

Point is they are no more fictional than the rest of Hollywood characters.  Do they exist, yes, reductions perhaps and maybe not as cute all the time but they do exist.  There are girls who go to comic con, who play video games, who surf or go back packing with nothing but a back pack (gasp).  They play sports or rather read than listen to poetry.  They know how to play the guitar or make their own cloths. They love getting their hands dirty or sit around and say nothing.  They like music and have interests in other things than themselves.  Instead of taking interest in a man’s interest of them, there are women who take interest in the man as an actual person.

To say MPDG is a “shallow cinematic creature” is ludicrous when comparing them to most other archetypes.  One may lump all those characters into one group if it pleases them but I would have to argue that the MPDGs differ from each other more than other archetypes.

 Saying they are they same character is pretty shallow behavior on it’s own for the reason people love such characters is because they come off as human, flawed and dynamic.  Not just the female lead or “the girl” and considering the fact that men like them specifically for the different dimension that they have and other archetypes don’t.

 Is it a composite?  Aren’t we all?  They are a reduction yes.  A reduction of everything that isn’t the prototypical paper doll woman that women often complain about.  And many women wish only her death. That does not make sense to me. And pointing at her, a movie character and screaming generalization is condemning the sky for being blue.

Could it be that they were so widely popular because they spoke to mans immaturity? Those who dream they can get a cute girl while still living in their mom’s basement? Maybe, but none of the male leads in such movies were like that. Maybe you believe that you’re that type of person and it’s a misrepresentation of you. Then I would have to suggest that one should not be comparing themselves with people in the movies.

Instead of movie characters when men pretty much value on a level on hotness there are actual characters men enjoy as characters and people are hating on it.  That can only root from insecurity.  It could be considered not only sexism towards men but sexism towards women as well.

Women have their silly vampires and sexy billionaires leave our pixie dream girls alone.

Petition the government to fund research of DCA in the fight against cancer.

Please hit the link on the bottom to sign the petition. We only have one month to get the required signatures.  If possible please pass on the link.

Fund human research trials involving the cheap, non-toxic and abundant chemical DCA in

the fight against cancer.

DCA, short for dichloroacetate, is a cheap and abundant chemical that has been showing great promise in combating cancer.

University of Alberta researcher Evangelos Michelakis has discovered that the non-toxic and non-patentable chemical inhibits or destroys most types of cancer cells by disrupting the way they metabolize sugar.

The problem is the business like nature in our health care system. There is no profit to be made for the private sector to develop a cure with DCA. Therefore, sadly many more will have to perish and their families suffer while a possible cure sits in front of us.

Instead of primarily depending on the private sector the public should have their own research programs that won’t ignore solutions to various problems because they are not profitable.

 

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/fund-human-research-trials-involving-cheap-non-toxic-and-abundant-chemical-dca-fight-against-cancer/lB9y84Lh

Make Me A Sandwich! Taking the Gender Out of Gender Roles.

Just kidding!  You never demand a sandwich.  You may only ask for one with a “pretty please with a cherry on top.”

That title sure is a nice chunk of bait for all those independent women with their first world problems and compulsion to find ways to be offended yet sorry to disappoint you.  I am gonna require you to read on first before being offended.

When I hear “role” I still think sandwiches and therefore the word “gender” has no business being next to it. Now let me tell you.  I love sandwiches. Love em.  All kinds.  Any type of bread, vegetable, meat or cheese. I love me a sandwich. Now considering how much I love sandwiches I feel it is my duty to end a slightly amusing but highly damaging trend that’s using my most favorite culinary delight as a weapon between the sexes.

I am sure most of you have seen a sandwich meme, if you haven’t well then just type it in that little Google box ya got and take a look. I’ll wait.

So now you are either offended or laughing but you all are overlooking the real victim here. Yes, sandwiches! and the family structure…and love itself! Now sandwiches are looked at with disdain by many and one may not even be able to say out loud “Man, I would like a sandwich” without receiving a venomous stink eye.

So let’s get a few things straight. Every good home has a sandwich maker and that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a female. I for one can make a mean sandwich and it will most likely be my roll (har har) in a domestic setting and that’s fine with me because not only do I like sandwiches, I like to cook and part of that comes from the satisfaction one gets from fulfilling a  friend or loved ones basic need adeptly. It’s a sensation that has been keeping the species strong since the beginning.

You can dismiss it as a trained habit, gender role  or what ever you want to explain why mothers will offer sandwiches but  are we to look down on them? Of course not! You will not find a more content and satisfied male when he receives a sandwich from his wife or mother. You can’t copy that. I could not make such a sandwich. The restaurant can’t make such a sandwich. The deli, the guy on the corner or the uppity dude on the cooking channel cannot make that sandwich. Because it is made with a certain type of love. It’s a love that brought us from the oceans, out of the caves, through the fields and into the large cities of the present and it is best represented in the simple form of the sandwich.

The sandwich, which comes in many forms is the primary culinary symbol of interpersonal connectedness. You can not be safer with someone than when eating a sandwich in their home. People may cook dinner for others, have fancy appetizers even. But it symbolizes nothing. A sandwich symbolizes family.

So don’t dare shout to your household sandwich maker to “make you a sandwich.”(Although it is kinda funny if you never want one again) It’s rude, ungrateful and if any of these major religions had a sent of a clue, sacrilegious.

Nor should one develop a standard for not making sandwiches, especially the random sandwiches (which are the most magical of all sandwiches) for to do so makes you unfit to be a mother or wife. That’s right I said it. You just don’t have the instinct of either nor the capability to take on the linchpin role in the family whom also usually is the main sandwich maker. You shouldn’t own even own pets for cats and dogs are both also know to love sandwiches.

Self involved people don’t do well in those roles yet if you presently are such a person and/or have a aversion towards making sandwiches, worry not. For something happens to a couple when they have a child. It starts with peanut butter and jelly. Then ham and cheese then a decade later everyone is sitting in front of the TV as a family unit, watching the game with giant beacons of love sitting in front of them. With lettuce, tomato (But not Jr. cause he doesn’t care for tomato), multiple meats, and cheese with potato chips and a pickle on the side.  Yes folks, that’s some of the best stuff this simple life of ours has to offer, better recognize.

So screw gender roles and the stupid conflicts that arise from what are really piss poor masked attempts at self-actualization.  There are only two important roles we are taking about.  The person who makes the sandwich and those who say “yes please”  “Thank you very much”,  “It’s perfect”, “You’re the greatest” and “I love you.”

Understanding

I have been posting under this name for four years.  Some of the essays I have posted are twice as old.   Things change over time and change in ones body, the aches, wrinkles,  are only to represent the changes that were to have happened in the mind and those changes have gradually come.  Though I would never go back and edit or rehash what I had written prior for it is not so much as a change of mind but a change in the perspective from which I am seeing things.   For all intents and purposes there can be more than one truth as long as the parties involved are ignorant of the others angle.

See, with time you may not only understand topic or target more than you did at a prior time you may understand the target more than it knew itself.  Like how we may understand a technology more now than the person who invented it then.  Yet, one shouldn’t dismiss the opinions of the past no matter how true or false they may be for it would be to erase the blueprint to your rational.

Now things and people we embrace, deal with well, get along with are also the things we went out of our way to understand whether you notice it or not. Now this all seems like common sense that we all instinctively know but it’s not.   All those sayings, “give it a chance”, “give it some time” “give it/him/her a try, give it time”, “see what they got to say.”  The key words are “give” and “see.”   Good information is rarely free and it is truly one of the most efficient conduits of power.   You have to give something to get something right?  You drop your fears, your personal view, your history and commit to merely thinking about another angle, you will “see” things you have never noticed before and sometimes see things differently altogether.  But that requires your time.  Maybe be a few minutes. Maybe a few seconds.  Maybe you will have to further expose yourself to people and things to find out more.

I know again, “common sense” and again I will tell you you’re wrong.  90% of the worlds conflict is due to a lack of communication. The other 10% is someone just being a #&!@*.
That’s my feeling.  Yeah sure greed, and various other sins and bad manners but if everyone were willing and free to communicate, most of that crap would be isolated quickly and a lot less people would be involved.

Now how does this effect you? People speak of the things they want.  Wealth, love, security. I would like to argue that all, whether they  if they admit it or not firstly, inherently,  one just want to be understood.  And from where they find understanding is to which they become emotionally attached.  Those that behave otherwise are the ones used to not getting any understanding and see no reason to bother seeking what they believe they will not get.   I am sure they are the exceptions but I think even a sociopath would take more kindly to one who can pick up what they are putting down.

So this is where I go from macro to micro on your ass.  If you don’t want to be rubbed the wrong way by something.  If you don’t like that icky feeling.  Remove yourself from your existence and go mentally to that person or to the people who enjoy what you dislike.   Yeah you may like it, you may become indifferent which is a little comfort or at least you may then learn why you dislike something and may even get into the heads of your enemies.  Mwa ha ha ha.

Now, when it comes to relationships.  You really got to get over yourself and into the other persons head.  Now I am not saying psychoanalyze and trivialize the person and their feelings.  I mean look at it from their eyes.  Maybe psychoanalyze yourself from their view.  If you aren’t willing to take the time, and seriously, once you get into the habit your talking a matter of minutes, but if you can’t take the time to do so and often then you cannot blame anyone if things go wrong.  One could question your level of caring and your initial intentions.

Ignorant bias is just bad for the soul.  If one doesn’t have the time, exposure or patients  to try to understand one still has their imagination and the usage of such is something truly lacking in the world.   There are people, perhaps the majority that either lack or refuse to use their imagination to attempt to understand what it would be like being born a different race, sex, religion, nationality or background.  Even most of the nit picks people have with others root from an impatient mindset and lack of imagination.   When people ask me why I do something or think some way I am always tempted to reply, “Why do you think I (whatever)?” But then I would end up sounding rude.  So instead I then proceed to punish them with a long and detailed explanation about whatever trivial topic that concerned them.

So the gist is..ya know all the hype about tolerance about all this or all that and political divides and trouble with your friend or significant other and various media outlets that just bombard you with endless conflict?  To help form an opinion, to get along with people, to lower your stress level I suggest shutting up, getting over yourself, to quietly think and see where that takes you.

Important Lessons I Learned From Dad.

Can you recall the small one or two line statements your father would repeat again and again to which you would reply with a glazed over gaze or a “yeah whatever”?  Can you recall them?  Have you managed to find wisdom in them?  Hopefully so.  Hopefully you have had someone instill those little important man lessons into your brain while you were young.   That or the equivalent for the fairer sex.

They end up being these gems that say so much in so little.  They belong to a language that can frustrate women at times.  Sometime one may feel that the male isn’t engaging in the discussion where for better or for worse they truly said all they have to say.  Though I have a feeling that such an explanation isn’t going to help much as an excuse.

Of course you are going to need examples and I am going to give them to you. The following is a list of rules I often fall back on everyday that my father had slyly planted into my programming.

Think about what you have to say, and then say it.  Now this is not the same as the “Think before you speak” line which is more often than not a warning.  Yet, this probably was the result of my father tiring of the rambling child. (Me)  But seriously how huge is that.  One appears more articulate and less likely to say something dumb or talk out of their ass.  It pays major dividends when communication with people.  So simple but not so sure everyone does it.

Respect the tool In simple terms this means to pay attention to what you’re using but when using something that you can hurt you you have to go a little beyond just paying attention.  Use it correctly and you won’t hurt yourself with it. Every time I have cut myself or had something drop on my head the first thing I would think was that I didn’t respect the tool. What I observed is that the lesson included people as well.  Treat those who work with and for you well.  Keep them sharp and out of the rain and they will get the job done for you.

You never know who youre talking to Simple. Show everyone respect. You do not know who they are or who they know. To follow the rule might never be rewarding but sure enough breaking this rule will bite you in the ass.

If you are going to do something, do it right This might sound gun-ho or obvious but it’s not.  It’s not about putting in the extra effort; it’s knowing that that effort should be the norm.  You may actually find some pride in the things you create.  Though you may merely do it for yourself not to waste your precious time but such ethic will earn you respect and keep you employed.

Think about what you want to do then do it  Everyone get flustered and panicky at some time and often to a point where you’re not being as productive as you should be doing whatever you are doing.  Ever see people trying to figure something out or in an emergency situation? Then there’s that one dude that’s just standing there then suddenly goes into action solving the problem.  What he is doing is stopping, deciding what exactly he wants to do.  Then he thinks about how he is going to do that in the best possible fashion.  That may seem slow but really takes a few seconds where as those who just react are screwing up and freaking out.   If it’s not a quick situation then it’s simply a way to keep from making silly mistakes.

“Try to be a gentle man” Now you ask “why the “try”?” That is because when you have to remind yourself of such it isn’t an easy task.  When someone tells you to be a gentleman it’s usually because you are going to be in the company of undesirables.  You instantly are like “Pfft, right.” Now trying to be a gentleman is different. Anyone can try.  And you never know when you might end up liking those you didn’t. It doesn’t hurt  pleasing whoever is asking you to behave or at the very least you become a better actor over time.

“Shut up and listen” Now I can talk. That is something I can definitely can do.  But more important, so much so is the ability to shut up and pay attention to what is going on around you.  To this day if someone says “Shut up and listen” I am all ears. Of course if what they have to say doesn’t garner my attention (they didn’t think about what they wanted to say before speaking) they will pay dearly.  Are you competitive, thoughtful, looking to impress or looking to take over the world?  Shutting the hell up and opening your ears will aid you in this I guarantee.

“Show some consideration.”  I usually got this one in a displeased tone.  It’s basically short for the golden rule but more importantly being aware of who is around and thinking about all involved before you act.  It was a pretty easy habit for me to pick up. The overactive brain enjoyed crawling around the heads of others.  Yet it made inconsiderate act’s a huge pet peeve I had to learn to let go of. I strongly feel that 90% of conflict is due to miscommunication and the other 10% someone just being an asshole.  Few people try to truly feel another point of view.  Foolish.  You can learn to be a good guy and make life a hell of a lot more simple but also use that to destroy enemies as well.

“Pay attention to what you are doing” This one might seem like a redundancy of the others but it’s not.  This is the key to the others.  I had an extremely over active brain in my youth and at times I still do.  I still am addicted to multitasking but I would not be able to do so without becoming efficient doing each task individually.  You can not do that with out paying attention.  Refuse to hit the autopilot button and immerse yourself in even the most menial tasks.  That’s how you get good.  That’s how you get fast.  I still struggle at times because my brain always wants to skip steps but to do any of the above I had to slowly learn some sort of focus.

“Does you’re face hurt?” I have asked this questioned to every single soul that has expressed some sort of physical pain to me and I might just now have come close to how many times my father has asked me the question.  It’s a great way to prevent a person from whining to you that’s for sure.  One of my favorite jokes of which punch line you will have to guess.

Then as we grow older we pick up some less useful ones, a few more timeless tacky jokes and various short ominous statements till we are more Mustafa than Simba.

The Secret Behind the Illusionary Habit of Gold Digging and the Allure of Older Men Amongst Young Women.

Now it has taken me a long time to realize something about the early to mid 20’s female demographic.  Rightfully so, because I’m a man and in my specific man ways I’m an idiot.   As a young man I, like many others of my gender couldn’t help to feel slighted by the opposite sex’s habit of dating older.  Weather it be the prettiest freshmen girls dating seniors in high school or the college crushes with their 28 year old boyfriends.  

We quickly figured it could not possibly be us.  With our keg stand modified agility and bong making ability?  Paleeeze, those bitches and ho’s just want a guy with money and a nice car right?    Yes and no.  Sure some might find those to be priorities yet for the majority it could be very well something they let us think.   Yes, a way to get a round in style is extremely convenient and who doesn’t like free shit?  Besides, the extra motivation it gives the rest of the fellas couldn’t hurt us right?  

Is it worth it for them to pay any heed to the grumbles of their male peers?  It’s far easier to let the men think they can’t afford them than to blatantly tell the guys that they are simply too fucking stupid.    That’s where it is folks.  The most common adjectives women have for men as far as I can recall would all fall under the definition of stupidity.   Boyfriends, fathers, brothers, we are all some sort of stupid.

Yeah sure stereotypically women can seem stupid but do you know if they really are?  They learn to play stupid years before men do and that’s why there is often an age gap when dating.   Eventually the light bulb goes on in a man’s head and they realize, “Ohhhhh, I know what she’s doing.”  Some men not only can then read the games but can even learn to play them as well.

Finally a willing adversary.   Easily manipulated creatures whose body of knowledge has nothing new to offer besides sports or video games aren’t as appealing as one would think.   Some women believe in playing dumb to get a guy to like them yet perhaps that could be an illusion they play on themselves.   It’s not a matter of the man liking dumb women. It’s the woman trying to get down to his level so she doesn’t go fucking nuts.

A young mans ability to cope with manipulation is in most cases no way adequate to deal with the skills of a female his own age.  Of course I speak in generalities and there are manipulative little pricks running about too but lets have some fun.

There are a great many things as young men we just don’t get.   Some of us are too nice and no where near ready to provide sufficient resistance to the force a woman can generate which is needed for them to find balance in a relationship let alone respect for their partner.  

Our listening comprehension sucks, manners are hit and miss and many are barely housebroken.  Now are we to judge if they prefer someone a little less dependant on mommy and with a few more moves in the sack.    

Sure the older guys often seem like jerks and totally fail to treat your hearts desire the way she deserves to be treated yet don’t overlook your tendency to act like an asshole.  The fact that you don’t know when you’re being an asshole is the thing they find infuriating for there is no reasoning with you or committing a justifiable act of revenge.   The older guy knows when he’s being a dick.  More importantly he knows how to be a dick.  

Which brings me to the fellas who prematurely choose to behave like a dick and well it sometimes can be successful but a girl usually finds out in short time that he is simply just a dick with out the car, money, emotional maturity or brains.

Yes, many women are attracted to assholes but there is so much variation with that.   They could have daddy issues, (which is probably an inappropriately mild way of mentioning far worse issues) punishing themselves, they could just like the adrenaline rush of the bad boy, likes fixer uppers or behind closed doors she owns his ass.   

Yet those we jealously presume to be assholes are guys just like you that have learned the appropriate give and take with that specific woman or women in general.   For either sex it’s not just about monitoring the amount you take in a relationship in respect to what you give but what you should and should not give and should or should not take, whether good or bad.

It’s a right of passage.  With time you see they seem to care less and less about money and cars yet the girls who did have those priorities might very well still have them and as for the rest of them its probably you that has changed not them.   Sure they ones your age are still going to think you’re an idiot but now at least some of the young ones are the drunk idiots or naive fools.     

Now instead of acting all jealous you can act all suspicious of women cause now of course they just want you for stability and your sperm.     You could always date younger and watch as their boy buds stuck in the friend zone look at you in contempt.    And you’ve come full circle. 

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